She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
