foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
