My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
