try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
