it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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