theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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