I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
