New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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