I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
