I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I checked into jail on foursquare
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize