you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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