Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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