any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
