I hate all girls vehemently.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
