Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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