Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
