Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
