so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
