11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
