You can't special order awesome
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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