i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
This baby is an asshole
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
