Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
