if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
