i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i came on her dog
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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