She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
