My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
