No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
