Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
