Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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