I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
