Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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