hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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