i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
