some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
