now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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