I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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