I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
