the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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