Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
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