hotel room ftw
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
