you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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