who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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