There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
