handjob tips. give me some.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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