We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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