Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You made out with two different species that night
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
