haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
