i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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