Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
