at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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