Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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