Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
