I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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