did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
