My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
