Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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