Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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