We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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