3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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